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Kindness Starts With One Deed

One smile. One hug. One cup of coffee. One person



Kindness in real life delivers a different experience than the concept which is explained in the dictionary. Kindness has an intention, the intention is not to gain approval of others, it is just to do something as it is an act of caring, not duty. Many people will only do something for another person in return for what has been done to them. Genuine kindness has no agenda. When we help others, we feel good. When someone else feels good as a result of your actions, you will feel good and empowered. When they feel good, they will treat others differently, and this kindness will have an ongoing/contagious effect.

It is not necessary to be a saint to be kind, kindness is more natural than you can imagine. Once you just give a hug, a word of motivation, a listening ear, helping someone across the street who needs help, you will soon notice that it is actually more part of our nature to be kind than what you could have imagined.


Three psychological tools you can use to breed kindness:


One: Sit in a quiet place free from disturbances for 10 minutes. Close your eyes. Think of all the people who have been kind to you. Name each person and the event and say thank you.


Two: Take 7 deep breaths in and out. Now close your eyes, think of all the kindness you have done towards others, this may include your children or strangers. Place your hand on your heart and thank yourself for your kindness. Acknowledge the feelings you feel as you remember your acts of kindness.


Three: Complete the table underneath, this should support you to reflect and to integrate your act of kindness. Many times, we take our act of kindness lightly. Once we realize how it influences us and others, we become much more aware of our actions.


My act of kindness: The impact it had on you: How it influenced the other person:


_________________ _______________________ ________________________________

_________________ _______________________ ________________________________

_________________ _______________________ ________________________________

_________________ _______________________ ________________________________

_________________ _______________________ ________________________________

_________________ _______________________ ________________________________

_________________ _______________________ ________________________________



Tips to teach children kindness:


  • Children learn not only by what we teach them, but how we treat ourselves and others:

It is in a child’s nature to learn by observing people’s behaviour. If you are kind to yourself, you automatically give your children permission to be kind to themselves, this is one way of teaching our children and other people kindness.


  • Teach your child the willingness and the intention to be kind to others. Things you can do:

a) Have a discussion with your children about ways to be kind to self and others.

b) Plan a family outing to a charity event.

c) Explain to a child the challenges the old,sick and poor people might be going through. Remind them that we don’t always know what others are going through, and that their actions might impact people with challenges.

d) Teach them the skills of small acts of kindness such as how to be good to others by opening a door for a stranger, to listen when the teacher speaks, how to give compliments instead of insults.

  • Focus on Positive Reinforcement:

When your child is kind, acknowledge it, by telling them that it is much appreciated. When you see an act of kindness from your neighbour or stranger, draw their attention to it and ensure that they know that it is noticed and appreciated. Start acknowledging their kind deeds and intentions as positive reinforcement will support children to do more good deeds and it will support them to realise that their actions have an influence on others.


Last thought for now:

We never know what someone else is going through, hence it is important to be kind. The act of kindness supports us and others to deal with our own suffering. By doing acts of kindness, you will see that kindness creates inspiration. Where there is kindness there is caring, patience and compassion. I do believe that the greatest good doesn’t ask of us to share our riches with others, but instead to reveal to others their own riches. Hence, kindness creates the gift and space for others to find their own riches within themselves.

For the love that we show and the kindness we bestow, can have an enriching and rewarding effect on us and others that we deal with.

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